Precious Memories

Something happened this morning that has brought some sorrowful memories back to the surface of my mind. My niece has given birth to a very pre mature baby this morning. He (N) has come into this world weighing a whopping 1lb. 6 oz. Poor baby, he is so small.

This has brought back all those memories of my first child, Kristanna Lynn. You see she was due to arrive into this world June of 1996. But she came January 15, 1996 stillborn. I remember the week leading up to her arrival. I had my monthly doctors visit and was very excited to hear her heartbeat again. That day, I decided to go by myself since everyone else could not go with me, and my hubby could not get off of work. In the exam room, the nurse could not find her heartbeat, which was not uncommon for me, (most of the time the Dr. was the one to find it) The Doctor came in and could not find it either, so they sent me up stairs for an ultrasound. I was so scared. I remember praying the whole time I was there, I kept trying to see the screen, but they kept moving it away from me. I knew in my heart that my little girl was no more. I was sent back to my doctor's office and while waiting in the waiting room, I just cried and cried. I remember the tears just running down my face. The nurse and doctor brought me to his office and told me that my little girl was gone. I remember telling the nurse to call my mother . I knew that she could get ahold of my hubby. I walked down to the lobby of the offices and waited for my hubby and parents. Strange thing, My sister lived 2 blocks from the office, but I could not remember her number for the life of me.
When my husband arrived, he ran to me and I told him and my parents what was told to me. A few days later, I had to go back to the doctors office and was told that they would take the baby a few days later.
That was the hardest time in my life, waiting for something to happen. Having ladies come up to you and ask when the baby is due. What do you tell them? My family and I arrived at the hospital at the appointed time to start the process of having my baby. After a long day, she was born, stillborn. We found out that she had the unbillica chord wrapped around her neck that had cut off blood flow. She was so tiny!

I don't know why, but hearing my sister in law talk about how small and tiny (N) is has just brought all those memories of that day back into my minds. It was one of the hardest things that I had to go though, but It has made us ( my hubby and I) stronger! Funny thing is that I do wonder what she would have been like, would she be like my dd12 or dd8? What color hair would she have? All those things go through my mind, but I will be able to see her one day in Glory!!!

What a happy time...... in that sweet home it will be!!! These memories are precious to me. I am not sad or sorrowful anymore, cause I know that HEAVEN IS JUST IN SITE!!!!!!!!